a moment's pause
I've been a little drippy today, for a variety of reasons. First, this morning David and I had the opportunity to go to my aunt and uncle's sealing in the Mount Timpangos Temple. It was a beautiful ceremony, especially since I felt like the focus was more on the ceremony itself rather than all of the fluff that accompanies most weddings (not to say that fluff isn't good - I just think it doesn't carry as much eternal significance as a family that can be together forever). Anyways, it was a nice morning, one that made me grateful for my family and all of the wonderful things they are doing.
That was the good drippy part of the day. When we got home, however, David and I experienced an unexpected turn of events, which although good, have led to a great deal of thinking and ambivalent drippiness (as in I'm not sure if it's good drippy or bad drippy - I'll let you decide).
Before I write anymore, I want to first clarify that I am not as good of a person as you think. I can be incredibly selfish, a quality trait that law school has helped me to continue to develop. I also have a lot of anxiety when it comes to strangers, and as a result, I probably come off a little more standoffish than I should. With that said, I also have a lot of self-doubt and often worry that I could (or should) have done more or been better or said something different (in a variety of situations - not just with today's happenings). The list goes on. I guess I'm trying to disclaim my openness in this post, since I'm still at a loss for both words and understanding.
When David and I got home from the temple, the first thing we did was jump onto Facebook (David wanted to see all the likes and comments that people posted on our wedding pictures; I just wanted to see what was happening in the world). While doing my daily update, I noticed there was a request for a priesthood blessing at the hospital (Aside #1: David and I serve as service missionaries/pastoral care volunteers at the University Hospital. There's a branch that meets in the hospital every Sunday that we attend. We also have the opportunity to take the Sacrament to those patients in the hospital who are unable to attend Sacrament Meeting. Most weeks, David is also able to give blessings to those patients who request them). Since we were already in our Sunday best, David and I volunteered to go to the hospital and check out the request (Aside #2: Every night, there are couples who go to the hospital to see if there are any patients that would like a blessing or a visit. Sometimes, however, there are situations in which a blessing is more urgent (like today), so the hospital calls a member of the branch to have them send a priesthood holder right away).
About ten minutes later, we were in the ER tracking down the patient. She wasn't too hard to find, and without much further ado, David gave her a blessing. After the blessing, we asked her if there was anything else we could help her with. She told us that all she wanted was a hot meal. Come to find out, she was homeless, and the hospital was soon to discharge her back onto the street. No family, no friends. Just two blue suitcases and the clothes on her back.
We were still with her when the nurse gave her her discharge papers, a box of food, and a bus token to get back to the downtown streets. David and I stood there for a moment (long enough for a doctor to ask us if we were okay), not knowing what to do, but knowing we should do something. We finally asked her if we could give her a ride back to the homeless shelter (since as far as I know, the buses from the hospital don't go anywhere close to the particular shelter she was heading to).
Fast forward ten minutes. During the car ride to the shelter, we found out she was new to the Salt Lake area, having recently lost her house in a different state. When I asked her what her plans were now that she was in Salt Lake, she said, "To not be homeless. I will do anything to not be homeless."
I racked my brain trying to think of the things we could do to help her. Neither David nor I had any cash on us. In the end, the least we could do was show her how to get to the JSMB from the homeless shelter (since, according to her, that is where the LDS branch for the homeless shelter meets). And yet, I don't know how much help that was at all, seeing that she was just discharged from the ER and didn't seem able to walk long distances.
When we dropped her off at the shelter, we wished her good luck, and that was that. And yet, as we were driving away, we both felt that we should have done more. The problem is, I just don't know what we could or should have done.
Since then, I have been dripping on and off throughout the day. I can't imagine losing everything and being so alone. It's given me a moment's pause (and really, the moment has become a day and will probably increase to be something much larger than that) to realize that I have more than enough, and enough to spare. I have a wonderful family, a roof over my head, food in the fridge, an education in the works, and opportunities to build more upon those things. And because of that, I can't help but wonder: should I have shared more with this dear sister? Could I have done more?
I am still dripping. I feel so helpless and inadequate, not in a law school sort of way (as in, being cut on the wrong side of the curve), but in a one person against the world sort of way (not that I'm planning on leading a revolution anytime soon. I think it's more of the feeling that I am just one person and can only do so much).
If it's not too much to ask, and if you're a religious sort of person (and even if you're not), I'd appreciate it if you would pray for the lady we met today. I know Heavenly Father is mindful of his children, and can make up the difference to help those that need it, especially when we ask him. And who knows? Maybe somebody, somewhere, will know how to help the woman we met better and more completely than we were capable of doing today.
I realize that I talked a lot about LDS beliefs and practices in this post today. If you have any questions, please ask me! Or visit this website! I'd be happy to clarify anything I've mentioned.
That was the good drippy part of the day. When we got home, however, David and I experienced an unexpected turn of events, which although good, have led to a great deal of thinking and ambivalent drippiness (as in I'm not sure if it's good drippy or bad drippy - I'll let you decide).
Before I write anymore, I want to first clarify that I am not as good of a person as you think. I can be incredibly selfish, a quality trait that law school has helped me to continue to develop. I also have a lot of anxiety when it comes to strangers, and as a result, I probably come off a little more standoffish than I should. With that said, I also have a lot of self-doubt and often worry that I could (or should) have done more or been better or said something different (in a variety of situations - not just with today's happenings). The list goes on. I guess I'm trying to disclaim my openness in this post, since I'm still at a loss for both words and understanding.
When David and I got home from the temple, the first thing we did was jump onto Facebook (David wanted to see all the likes and comments that people posted on our wedding pictures; I just wanted to see what was happening in the world). While doing my daily update, I noticed there was a request for a priesthood blessing at the hospital (Aside #1: David and I serve as service missionaries/pastoral care volunteers at the University Hospital. There's a branch that meets in the hospital every Sunday that we attend. We also have the opportunity to take the Sacrament to those patients in the hospital who are unable to attend Sacrament Meeting. Most weeks, David is also able to give blessings to those patients who request them). Since we were already in our Sunday best, David and I volunteered to go to the hospital and check out the request (Aside #2: Every night, there are couples who go to the hospital to see if there are any patients that would like a blessing or a visit. Sometimes, however, there are situations in which a blessing is more urgent (like today), so the hospital calls a member of the branch to have them send a priesthood holder right away).
About ten minutes later, we were in the ER tracking down the patient. She wasn't too hard to find, and without much further ado, David gave her a blessing. After the blessing, we asked her if there was anything else we could help her with. She told us that all she wanted was a hot meal. Come to find out, she was homeless, and the hospital was soon to discharge her back onto the street. No family, no friends. Just two blue suitcases and the clothes on her back.
We were still with her when the nurse gave her her discharge papers, a box of food, and a bus token to get back to the downtown streets. David and I stood there for a moment (long enough for a doctor to ask us if we were okay), not knowing what to do, but knowing we should do something. We finally asked her if we could give her a ride back to the homeless shelter (since as far as I know, the buses from the hospital don't go anywhere close to the particular shelter she was heading to).
Fast forward ten minutes. During the car ride to the shelter, we found out she was new to the Salt Lake area, having recently lost her house in a different state. When I asked her what her plans were now that she was in Salt Lake, she said, "To not be homeless. I will do anything to not be homeless."
I racked my brain trying to think of the things we could do to help her. Neither David nor I had any cash on us. In the end, the least we could do was show her how to get to the JSMB from the homeless shelter (since, according to her, that is where the LDS branch for the homeless shelter meets). And yet, I don't know how much help that was at all, seeing that she was just discharged from the ER and didn't seem able to walk long distances.
When we dropped her off at the shelter, we wished her good luck, and that was that. And yet, as we were driving away, we both felt that we should have done more. The problem is, I just don't know what we could or should have done.
Since then, I have been dripping on and off throughout the day. I can't imagine losing everything and being so alone. It's given me a moment's pause (and really, the moment has become a day and will probably increase to be something much larger than that) to realize that I have more than enough, and enough to spare. I have a wonderful family, a roof over my head, food in the fridge, an education in the works, and opportunities to build more upon those things. And because of that, I can't help but wonder: should I have shared more with this dear sister? Could I have done more?
I am still dripping. I feel so helpless and inadequate, not in a law school sort of way (as in, being cut on the wrong side of the curve), but in a one person against the world sort of way (not that I'm planning on leading a revolution anytime soon. I think it's more of the feeling that I am just one person and can only do so much).
If it's not too much to ask, and if you're a religious sort of person (and even if you're not), I'd appreciate it if you would pray for the lady we met today. I know Heavenly Father is mindful of his children, and can make up the difference to help those that need it, especially when we ask him. And who knows? Maybe somebody, somewhere, will know how to help the woman we met better and more completely than we were capable of doing today.
I realize that I talked a lot about LDS beliefs and practices in this post today. If you have any questions, please ask me! Or visit this website! I'd be happy to clarify anything I've mentioned.
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