you know you don't want to write a paper when...

...you would rather run around the block 834 times while wearing a sports bra. You would rather bang your head against a wall. You would rather kiss a duck. You would rather write a blog post about all the things you'd rather do. You would rather stalk EVERYONE on facebook. You would rather write poetry with your sassy Victorian style. You would rather discover the reason why monkey meat is inedible. You would rather play hide-in-seek with a gnome. You would rather go to the temple. You would rather study French. You would rather do lots of other good things. And last, but not least, you would rather de-hair the bathroom floor and shower drain.

Yup. This Franken' paper might not get written for awhile.