dependable tp
Ah, tp. The sustenance and love of my life. The one and only thing that keeps me going, day in and day out, especially when my anxiety decides to have a party down the water slides in my intestines. With you, life is bearable. Without you, the LSAT is unconquerable.
(You do know that I am referring to test preparation, right?)
As most everyone knows (and as I am continually learning), LSAC, the company that administers the LSAT, is ridiculous! After reading through several pages of rules and regulations regarding the administration of the LSAT, I have decided that I am more nervous for arriving at the test than actually taking the silly thing. For example, I am not allowed to bring a payphone with me to the test (that wasn't a major concern, mostly because I usually don't strap one of those to my back and carry it around campus). I am also not allowed to even touch a cell phone without facing immediate dismissal. I can't use mechanical pencils (especially since we all know that the clicking sounds bother people and since it is a common practice for people to illegally obtain the answers prior to taking the test, write them on a minuscule piece of paper, and then shove said piece of paper down the lead tube of said mechanical pencil). I can, however, bring as many of those annoying click erasers with me as I would like. I can also click them as much as I would like. I can't wear a hood or a hat or any other sort of head covering (unless, of course, I was religious in that manner). Nor am I allowed to use the bathroom between the time that I arrive at the testing location and when the test begins (once the test starts, no biggie. I can enter and leave the test room at my own risk (with the risks being a significant loss of time). I can also use the bathroom during the 20 minute break (how kind of them to give me just enough time to wait for all of the other females to use the one or two stalls available, only to have to turn around and start sporking the test all over again).
Ah, the bathroom. According to my test prep instructor, B, there are many people who are concerned with this one particular aspect of taking the LSAT; that is, "What should I do if I have to, you know, like, go during the middle of the test?" Not to worry! If you are a hard core LSAT taker, the answer is simple: wear adult diapers.
That's right. You heard me. People wear diapers into the LSAT! That means that the person sitting next to me could relieve themselves at any point in time during the test. (I don't know about you, but that's awkward. I'm not going to try to think about it too hard...).
On a second thought, B had a good point. Since nearly everyone in the testing room is stressed to the point of giving themselves instantaneous ulcers, it is more beneficial to either a) laugh at their ridiculousness, or b) give them something to laugh at (assuming that they aren't past the point of understanding all humor). Here are his suggestions:
(You do know that I am referring to test preparation, right?)
As most everyone knows (and as I am continually learning), LSAC, the company that administers the LSAT, is ridiculous! After reading through several pages of rules and regulations regarding the administration of the LSAT, I have decided that I am more nervous for arriving at the test than actually taking the silly thing. For example, I am not allowed to bring a payphone with me to the test (that wasn't a major concern, mostly because I usually don't strap one of those to my back and carry it around campus). I am also not allowed to even touch a cell phone without facing immediate dismissal. I can't use mechanical pencils (especially since we all know that the clicking sounds bother people and since it is a common practice for people to illegally obtain the answers prior to taking the test, write them on a minuscule piece of paper, and then shove said piece of paper down the lead tube of said mechanical pencil). I can, however, bring as many of those annoying click erasers with me as I would like. I can also click them as much as I would like. I can't wear a hood or a hat or any other sort of head covering (unless, of course, I was religious in that manner). Nor am I allowed to use the bathroom between the time that I arrive at the testing location and when the test begins (once the test starts, no biggie. I can enter and leave the test room at my own risk (with the risks being a significant loss of time). I can also use the bathroom during the 20 minute break (how kind of them to give me just enough time to wait for all of the other females to use the one or two stalls available, only to have to turn around and start sporking the test all over again).
Ah, the bathroom. According to my test prep instructor, B, there are many people who are concerned with this one particular aspect of taking the LSAT; that is, "What should I do if I have to, you know, like, go during the middle of the test?" Not to worry! If you are a hard core LSAT taker, the answer is simple: wear adult diapers.
That's right. You heard me. People wear diapers into the LSAT! That means that the person sitting next to me could relieve themselves at any point in time during the test. (I don't know about you, but that's awkward. I'm not going to try to think about it too hard...).
On a second thought, B had a good point. Since nearly everyone in the testing room is stressed to the point of giving themselves instantaneous ulcers, it is more beneficial to either a) laugh at their ridiculousness, or b) give them something to laugh at (assuming that they aren't past the point of understanding all humor). Here are his suggestions:
- The LSAT only specifies what you can't wear, not what you can. Therefore, males are encouraged to wear only a diaper into the testing center. Females are similarly encouraged to wear a diaper/onesie combo. This is to facilitate any bathroom concerns and to make changing as convenient as possible.
- Though the type of pencils available for use are limited, the size of such pencils isn't. It is therefore recommended that you use as big of a pencil as possible (i.e. the closer it resembles a mini spear, the better). And just in case one of them breaks, bring an arsenal (i.e. approximately an armful. If you can't carry that many, stick some in your diaper for safe keeping).
- To match the size of the above mentioned pencils, erasers should also be proportionately large. If the room doesn't vibrate when you try to unsmudge an answer, it's not big enough.
- LSAT doesn't allow the use of digital watches, but does allow students to use analog watches. To keep track of time, duct tape a wall clock to your arm. This mammoth-sized wristwatch will not only help those across the room to see the time, but it will also compliment your arsenal of pencil/spears because it will closely resemble a shield (you never know when there will be a ninja attack in the testing center).
- If you are male, shave the phrase, "180 or bust" into your chest hairs. Females may write a similar phrase on the front of their onesie.
- On your back, tattoo/write the numbers 1 through 25 with either A, B, C, D, or E next to each number. Whether these are the right answers or not, you may be able to give your backdoor neighbor a few ounces of inspiration.
- While taking the test, pause every ten minutes or so, grunt a little, and then emit a sigh of relief. Then, at the break, change your diaper.
- And so on and so forth... I'll let you come up with the rest...
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