word of honor
Something that has been bothering me as of late (and I'm sorry if I am preaching to the choir. Allow me just this once to step up on my soapbox):
First, a disclaimer:
This is NOT a self-righteous rant (I personally despise finger-pointing and will try to do my best not to step on too many toes). With that said, I’m sorry if what I say bothers anyone. This is simply how I see things (and if you take issue with my opinions, tell me! I’d love to hear what you have to say).
Now, the real good stuff:
At my work, we ask students to abide by Brigham Young University’s Honor Code/Dress and Grooming Standards (we are a BYU run organization, so like all students, we are held accountable for adhering to the standards of the Honor Code). If students come into our office and are dressed inappropriately (i.e. low-cut shirts, mini-skirts, etc.), or if they haven’t shaved (and by shaved, I am referring to facial hair. Otherwise I would be guilty of frequent leg hair violations), we ask that they change/shave/do-whatever-they-need-to-do to keep their part of the contract. Once they have taken care of things, they are more than welcome to return to our office and we will do our best to help them.
But....
As of late, violations have become more frequent and students have become more belligerent. Just yesterday, a male student said some highly inappropriate things to one of my fellow employees when she informed him that she could not help him until he had shaved (and by highly inappropriate, I mean , "things-that-I-would-cringe-to-say-in-front-of-my-great-grandma-even-if-her-hearing-aids-were-in-the-other-room-next-to-her-dust-bunnied-dentures"). After this incident, the only thing I could do was pick my jaw up off the floor. I still don’t get it: was that type of reaction really necessary?
I’ve tried placing myself in his shoes: say I was a male student who needed some urgent-ish help with situation x. If I went to go get help and was turned away, would I be peeved? Probably. But I would hope that I would realize the reasons behind why I was denied help; namely, the fact that that particular office was not discriminating against me, but rather, that they were helping me to uphold a code that I agreed to live.
And I suppose that is what I don’t get: why is it that students are angry about a code that they agreed to? If it were any other contract, would they be just as upset? For example, say I failed to pay rent at my apartment. As a result of my irresponsibility, my landlord decides to evict me. I’m pretty sure it wouldn’t be appropriate for me to shout profanities at him. After all, when I signed my rental contract, I agreed to the conditions and terms concerning rental payments. And by agreeing to those terms, I said that I would uphold them. And if I don’t abide by those rules...well, my signature also indicates that I understand the consequences, too.
With that said, I wonder how the Honor Code is any different. When a BYU student signs the dotted line of their Ecclesiastical Endorsement each year, they are in the presence of an ecclesiastical leader who explains the terms and conditions to them. When they sign, they are fully aware of what they are agreeing to. Why is it such a big surprise, then, if they violate part of the Honor Code/Dress and Grooming Standards, that services on BYU’s campus are denied to them? Like paying rent, they agreed to it, so they are obliged to uphold it.
I know that some people disagree with the Honor Code. It’s been said that it is too restrictive, unfair, ridiculous, old-fashioned... the list goes on. But none of that should matter. My personal opinion? I don’t care if you have scruff. Whether or not you have facial hair is not important to me (I will say, however, that modest dress is something I personally am a little more particular about. I am pretty sure that very few people want to see chest hairs (male or female) or the stretch marks on thighs that have seen better days from before the freshmen 50). What IS important, however, is that you keep your word of honor. If you signed that dotted line, then you are accountable for keeping your end of the contract, even if you disagree with its terms (and if you disagree with the terms, don’t take it out on me or my co-workers or anyone else who is keeping their end of the bargain. If you have concerns, address them professionally. It’s that simple).
I suppose the argument could be made, "If Brigham Young (or Moses, or Jesus, or whoever you want to claim) had scruff... why can’t I, too?" To that I say, "Who cares?" One thing that all of these people had in common (aside from a bit of facial hair) is honor: they kept their promises and contracts, no matter what it was or who it was that criticized them for it. And that is what truly matters most, especially in a world where a promise has become little more than words that are forgotten as soon as sound waves disappear.
To those of you who read this (and that includes myself), I invite you to step up! If you've signed the Honor Code, live it! Or if you've made a promise of a different sort, keep it! To me, that is the principle behind all of this: keep your word of honor no matter what.
First, a disclaimer:
This is NOT a self-righteous rant (I personally despise finger-pointing and will try to do my best not to step on too many toes). With that said, I’m sorry if what I say bothers anyone. This is simply how I see things (and if you take issue with my opinions, tell me! I’d love to hear what you have to say).
Now, the real good stuff:
At my work, we ask students to abide by Brigham Young University’s Honor Code/Dress and Grooming Standards (we are a BYU run organization, so like all students, we are held accountable for adhering to the standards of the Honor Code). If students come into our office and are dressed inappropriately (i.e. low-cut shirts, mini-skirts, etc.), or if they haven’t shaved (and by shaved, I am referring to facial hair. Otherwise I would be guilty of frequent leg hair violations), we ask that they change/shave/do-whatever-they-need-to-do to keep their part of the contract. Once they have taken care of things, they are more than welcome to return to our office and we will do our best to help them.
But....
As of late, violations have become more frequent and students have become more belligerent. Just yesterday, a male student said some highly inappropriate things to one of my fellow employees when she informed him that she could not help him until he had shaved (and by highly inappropriate, I mean , "things-that-I-would-cringe-to-say-in-front-of-my-great-grandma-even-if-her-hearing-aids-were-in-the-other-room-next-to-her-dust-bunnied-dentures"). After this incident, the only thing I could do was pick my jaw up off the floor. I still don’t get it: was that type of reaction really necessary?
I’ve tried placing myself in his shoes: say I was a male student who needed some urgent-ish help with situation x. If I went to go get help and was turned away, would I be peeved? Probably. But I would hope that I would realize the reasons behind why I was denied help; namely, the fact that that particular office was not discriminating against me, but rather, that they were helping me to uphold a code that I agreed to live.
And I suppose that is what I don’t get: why is it that students are angry about a code that they agreed to? If it were any other contract, would they be just as upset? For example, say I failed to pay rent at my apartment. As a result of my irresponsibility, my landlord decides to evict me. I’m pretty sure it wouldn’t be appropriate for me to shout profanities at him. After all, when I signed my rental contract, I agreed to the conditions and terms concerning rental payments. And by agreeing to those terms, I said that I would uphold them. And if I don’t abide by those rules...well, my signature also indicates that I understand the consequences, too.
With that said, I wonder how the Honor Code is any different. When a BYU student signs the dotted line of their Ecclesiastical Endorsement each year, they are in the presence of an ecclesiastical leader who explains the terms and conditions to them. When they sign, they are fully aware of what they are agreeing to. Why is it such a big surprise, then, if they violate part of the Honor Code/Dress and Grooming Standards, that services on BYU’s campus are denied to them? Like paying rent, they agreed to it, so they are obliged to uphold it.
I know that some people disagree with the Honor Code. It’s been said that it is too restrictive, unfair, ridiculous, old-fashioned... the list goes on. But none of that should matter. My personal opinion? I don’t care if you have scruff. Whether or not you have facial hair is not important to me (I will say, however, that modest dress is something I personally am a little more particular about. I am pretty sure that very few people want to see chest hairs (male or female) or the stretch marks on thighs that have seen better days from before the freshmen 50). What IS important, however, is that you keep your word of honor. If you signed that dotted line, then you are accountable for keeping your end of the contract, even if you disagree with its terms (and if you disagree with the terms, don’t take it out on me or my co-workers or anyone else who is keeping their end of the bargain. If you have concerns, address them professionally. It’s that simple).
I suppose the argument could be made, "If Brigham Young (or Moses, or Jesus, or whoever you want to claim) had scruff... why can’t I, too?" To that I say, "Who cares?" One thing that all of these people had in common (aside from a bit of facial hair) is honor: they kept their promises and contracts, no matter what it was or who it was that criticized them for it. And that is what truly matters most, especially in a world where a promise has become little more than words that are forgotten as soon as sound waves disappear.
To those of you who read this (and that includes myself), I invite you to step up! If you've signed the Honor Code, live it! Or if you've made a promise of a different sort, keep it! To me, that is the principle behind all of this: keep your word of honor no matter what.
I love this.
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