thoughts, summer 20--

reading words, thoughts i had written,
hopes, dreams, wishes, songs,
lovely bits and pieces
strung in sentences, scribbles,
dashed in hurried prose.

changing slant, emerging tones.
finding fears, created outside,
for once, not by me.

bright days clouded with hurricanes,
thoughts confused, torn, trembled,
shaking hands, words illegible.
terrible wondering, horrid pains,
no safety found within arms' reach.
lonely, so lonely, yet no one to hear,
the screams of shattered mind,
summer's breach.

sleep, sleep, no finding, nowhere,
no peace nor escape
despite running, running, running.
desperate thoughts, painful attempts,
futile at the outcome of courage's failure.

break.

an escape? enlivening hurt may wish it so.
still wondering's form smothers mind's eye,
a regret not for running but for tripping,
falling, faltering, failing,
not recognizing the twists and turns,
a pretzeled mind created by "safe" hands
that hurt me more by trust unfound
than by words ever spoken.