immutable me

there are only so many walls I can build,
so many holes I can dig
before the shovel cracks,
my hands blistering blood,
scratching and screeching
at the ice-hardened dirt.

in silencing breaths, restricting emotion,
I suffocate in waiting's wondering,
hidden beneath the surface.
deep within, a hope resides,
daring to wish for rescue's arm
to unearth the muffled cries
sounding deep within mind's view.

the hand reaches,
blindly I refuse to see,
flailing out, shoving away,
until the light fades
and in darkness
I remain.

the walls reach higher,
the holes dig deeper.
immutable I reside,
waiting, always waiting,
until with understanding
I am ready to accept
rescue's return.

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