health

noun: in psychology, the slowest rate at which one is dying.

How morbid is that? I love it! So if I'm healthier than the average Joe, then I am dying slower than him (poor soul). When I go to a doctor's appointment and they tell me I am healthy, then I'm not dying fast enough. But if I am sick? Wow, that's a cause for concern. Might as well plan my funeral now. And if I am just living life? Then I am dying a slow and painful death.

So, what happens when healthy people take life at accelerating speeds?

My theory? They die.

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